bring it back to this state of innocence
by this theory has been disproven
Summary: Her summers smell like ice cream, coffee and grass. Oh, and they taste like Hoagie P. Gilligan, but that's beside the point. For stoplight-melody's summer contest.


**bring it back to this state of innocence**

by _this theory has been disproven_

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Word Count: 2,113

Pairing: Abby/Hoagie

Summary: Her summers smell like ice cream, coffee and grass. Oh, and Hoagie P. Gilligan, but that's beside the point. For stoplight-melody's summer contest.

* * *

You're eight years old and you want, more than anything, to join that crazy club, the one that Cree's a member of. You always want to do everything that Cree does. She's beautiful and she's smart and she's funny and she's so cool. Cree says she can get you a spot in the cadet school and you are sososo _excited_.

You start the summer you turn eight and you meet all of these weird kids. There's Kuki Sanban, this girl who's absolutely _obsessed _with rainbow monkeys (she's bright and warm and vibrant like sunshine, and she's your first friend and you always have this soft spot for her because of it).

You meet Wallabee Beatles soon afterward, mostly because Kuki grabs him by the hand and drags him over to be introduced. He ducks his head and he speaks in this gruff tone of voice, and your first impression of him is that he's an idiot but then you see him pushing Kuki on the swings and you think he's not such a bad guy after all.

Nigel Uno seems to be the one you get along with the most. He's way too uptight and he's way too into this KND scene, but you kind of respect the fact that he cares so much (he'll make a great leader one day).

You meet his best friend, and Hoagie P. Gilligan seems to be the easiest one to figure out (a class A dork, no doubt about it). He's overly eager about stuff like Yipper trading cards, and technological mumbo jumbo, and he's brilliant, but it's in this way that you're not used to.

You don't even know how this even works, but the KND higher ups feel as though the five of you guys make an ideal team. They must be crazy, everyone in this organization is nuts, but then you look and you smile at your team because, hey, this actually works out _wonderfully_.

(you know you'll all go down in history)

:-:

The summer you turn ten is the best summer of your life, because it's the only one that's truly 100 percent carefree. It's the only one where you're all together, and you're not worried about being torn apart or getting decommissioned. You're _just_ kids and this is just _your_ summer.

You're all invincible, a superb team. You've fought the tyranny of adults and you've come out on top every single time. Your team is like a well oiled machine, and you're damned proud of every single one of them.

Only, a small part of you realizes that this can't last forever, and it's like racing the clock, and you know you're going to lose this one, it's inevitable.

But you don't think about that the summer you turn ten. You wake up to the smell of your mother brewing coffee, and you eat ice cream until you keel over, you feel so sick, and when the sun sets, you lay down on your freshly mown law and you take a deep breath of the fresh cut grass.

(You feel so ridiculously **alive**)

It's the last day of summer and you're sitting on the curb outside your house. Your ice cream has melted and your hands and your mouth are sticky but you don't care. You kind of feel content, you kind of feel nostalgic.

Someone comes to sit next to you, and you know it's Hoagie because he starts going on and on about this new bit of technology. You roll your eyes but there is a small smile on your face because, well, he's Hoagie, and he always knows how to make you laugh.

And then he makes a bad joke and you groan and hit him lightly on the shoulder. He sits there and babbles, you pretend to yawn and you think that this is the perfect way to end the summer.

:-:

It all starts to fall apart the summer you turn twelve, and everyone is just a little quieter, and a little more reserved. And the summer smells like goodbye and you don't like it one bit. It's a summer with a bitter taste because it's your last summer with your sort of family and you've never felt an ache like this before.

Nigel is gone, and your group, you, can never feel whole again. It changes your whole dynamic, this last summer and, although you never talk about it, it's so obviously there.

It's in the way that Kuki tears up for no reason at all when you're eating popsicles together, or in the way that Wally doesn't bother to act so belligerent, in the way he's so soft with Kuki. It's almost as if the fights been taken out of them, all of them, and you don't like it one bit.

(And even though you try so hard, you'll never be the leader Nigel was)

It's kind of funny because in all of this sort of tragedy, Hoagie's the one keeping you all together, and he's trying so hard to make it seem as though nothing's wrong, and that's probably the most heartbreaking thing of all.

You don't want to forget him, any of them, and as stupid and cheesy as it sounds, the thought of just forgetting them makes you feel very lost, very very empty. As smart as you are, as strong as you are, you feel very powerless. They all might change, and you never want any of them to change, not ever.

The thing is, Hoagie seems to get that.

It's the last day of summer, and it's the cycle and tradition that you never want to end. He sits next to you on the curb outside your house, but he's quiet this time. It's a comfortable silence and you kind of wish this silence would last forever, suspended in time.

"How are you feeling?"

You know what he's getting at, and it seems stupid to lie.

"Abby's feeling not so great."

He nods thoughtfully and, in an act of courage you didn't think him capable of, he grabs your hand, "I don't think we'll ever really forget each other 100 percent, Abby, it's not scientifically possible."

You can hear the tremor in his voice, as though he's desperate to believe this, and you don't want to disillusion him, not yet, so you say nothing (and maybe that's worse than setting his straight, because you know this is it).

"You know," he doesn't let go of her hand, "If you want to cry, I won't tell anyone."

You scoff, and you try to laugh it off, but you end up crying anyway because it's the last day of summer and you'll never be together like this again. You cry but he never says a word to anyone and it's almost like it never happened.

That year, your team, they fight harder than anything you've ever seen and you are so fiercely _proud_.

(you're the first one to get decommissioned and their faces are the last thing you see before it all goes dark)

:-:

It's the summer you turn fifteen and you are bored out of your mind. Half of your friends are off on exotic islands, tanning on the beach and drinking fruity beverages with elaborate little paper umbrellas. The other half of your friends are window shopping at the mall and, the thing is, that really doesn't appeal to you.

You're sitting on the curb outside of your house, and you're eating a chocolate ice cream cone. It's melting and you're sticky, but your friends aren't around so you can afford to look a little bit like a fool.

And just like that someone is sitting next to you on that curb and there's this warmth, this feeling of familiarity. You don't know why, but you haven't felt this real in a very long time. You peer at the stranger out of the corner of your eye, and your eyes widen in surprise, because it's Hoagie P. Gilligan sitting next to you on that curb with a faint flush on his cheeks.

You've never spoken to Hoagie Gilligan before. Your friends like to poke fun at him, tease him for his obsession with all that is dork (and he _is _a class A dork, no doubt about that), only you've never participated and it makes you mad, the way your friends make fun of him.

The thing is it _shouldn't_, it shouldn't make you mad.

He's a good head taller than you, and he's skinnier than he was in middle school. He wears aviator goggles and an aviator's hat, and he looks so stupid (only you find it kind of endearing, kind of familiar).

"Hey," he's speaking to you softly, and you're feeling like you've done this before, except you haven't.

"What's up?" It's strange, how you feel so natural talking to him, and you both sit in silence, and it kind of feels really really nice.

"I'm Hoagie," he offers after a while, and you kind of want to laugh at Captain Obvious over here.

"Abby knows, we're in the same honors classes."

"I've been wanting to talk to you for a while now."

It kind of surprises her and it kind of doesn't, "Why is that?"

He hesitates, as though he's about to say something important, and then he shrugs, "You just seem really familiar, that's all."

It's strange, how you know what he's talking about, but you don't mind sitting here in silence with Hoagie P. Gilligan. For the first time in a very long time, it actually feels like summer.

:-:

The summer you turn seventeen you realize you're in love with him. It feels like it's been a long time coming, but he's pretty much oblivious. You have no idea how to put your heart on that silver platter but you're in no rush to make a fool of yourself.

You treat him the same as you treat everyone else, but your friends don't understand why you're hanging out with him. He's a class A dork, and when he waves you over he's really loud about it, but you don't care because you sort of (really) like him.

And you start to realize that your so called friends never really liked you for you, and that they'd stop talking to you in a heartbeat if you weren't so cool. You start to gravitate toward Kuki Sanban because she's nice, if not a bit silly, but she's got a big heart and you feel as though you know her from somewhere. And with Kuki Sanban comes Wally Beatles, and you're all hanging out with Hoagie, and you become this little dysfunctional group.

(you almost feel whole again)

:-:

It's the summer you turn eighteen and you're going to college in a few weeks. It's a sweet and bitter feeling because, God, you feel so old, like a dinosaur. You should be packing only you'd like to put that off as long as possible. You were always that girl who never wanted to grow up and, in a way, you still are. You still like to eat candy till you puke, and you still like the swings at the park, and you still want to believe that there's a bigger picture.

It hurts when you think that the real world is going to force you to be something you're not.

He sits next to you on the curb like you knew he would and it's funny, how summer only became summer when he entered your life. It seems more than a coincidence, but you don't really feel like overanalyzing this one.

"I love you."

You don't feel a fierce joy, you feel a kind of peace, because this is how it should be, and you've loved him for a very long time. You don't say a word and when he speaks again, his voice is nervous.

"You have no idea how long it took me to pluck up the courage to talk to you the summer after freshman year, you've always been way out of my league, Abby."

He's going on and on and babbling about things that don't really have any weight with her, and it's so achingly familiar his flustered, clumsy motions.

"Shut up, nerd, Abby loves you too."

It doesn't seem to register in his brain that you haven't rejected him, so you lean over and this kiss on the curb has been a long time coming.

(You haven't felt this alive since you were ten)

Your summers smell like coffee and ice cream and grass and they taste like Hoagie P. Gilligan, but that's completely and totally beside the point.

* * *

A/N: Writing this was really really cathartic for me. I don't know why, but a oneshot hasn't flowed this naturally in a very long time. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

Reviews would be really lovely so please take the time to leave me a little comment

Much Love,

Remy


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